Over the past two years, according to experts, approximately 15% of marriages in Russia are dissolved due to the active participation of citizens in social Internet networks. The Internet is known to facilitate the development of relationships. This often happens because the process of courtship itself has moved to the Internet for many today. You can court and win a person’s affection without leaving your workplace, which is what busy people take advantage of, writes dp.ru. According to St. Petersburg psychotherapist Genady Golubev, if Previously, family problems were provoked by specialized dating sites, but now social networks have come to the fore - VKontakte, Odnoklassniki and other similar services. Having immersed themselves in these sites, people not only renew previous romances, but also start new ones. Leading specialist of the committee Elena Shevtsova believes that she cannot judge the connection between the growing popularity of social networks and the increase in the number of divorces simply because the causes of divorces are not studied by the department. “But still, it seems to me that the problems leading to divorce lie on a different plane,” she summed up. However, family relations experts think differently. "What number family conflicts due to the craze for social networks, it will obviously grow,” says Elena Bilim, a family psychoanalyst at the St. Petersburg Psychoanalytic Center on Furshtatskaya. “In my practice, there were plenty of cases when families began to break up due to the active communication of one of the spouses on social networks,” speaks family psychologist and psychotherapist Boris Novoderzhkin. - As a rule, this is associated with unsuccessful or unfinished novels in school years. And these novels can resurface after a significant number of years. People retain images of a “girl from school” or a “boy from school” that have nothing to do with reality. In other words, if I met you on the street, I wouldn’t remember and I definitely wouldn’t meet you with the goal of starting an affair. And lyrical correspondence begins on the Internet. At first, a person does not even quite understand what he wants. And he doesn’t realize how this could end. Everyone is incredibly interested in finding out what was going on in their partner’s soul when they broke up.” Lev Shcheglov, rector of the Institute of Psychology and Sexology, is not prone to dramatization: “Situations when families collapsed after one of the spouses restored relations with the love of youth , have always been. Only previously, the starting point for this was not social networks on the Internet, but random meetings or traditional gatherings of classmates. The number of divorces in St. Petersburg associated with the resumption of previous relationships, according to my data, does not exceed 7% of the total. Sometimes meeting former lovers can lead to the development of a serious relationship. Although they, of course, are not connected with the fact that people are trying to reanimate their first feelings, but with something deeper. But still serious relationship, which are cemented by memories of the past, are rare. However, in my practice there have been cases when we were talking about a whole cascade of divorces on this basis. The man lived a completely normal life, at the age of 40 he met his first love, left his family, and married again. Then I realized that it was a veil before my eyes, and I broke up again. Meeting the past is always romanticized. And against the backdrop of some dissatisfaction with reality, this romanticization may become hypertrophied.” Experts explain the popularity of this kind of Internet resources all over the world by the fact that people have recently increased the need for communication and socialization. However, experts do not recommend enjoying such a surge. While social media does help people meet some of their communication needs, its growing popularity is a wake-up call for society. This means that traditional social institutions(family, church and others) are in a critical state. Experts are perplexed: what kind of communication processes, for example, within a family can we talk about if marriage is increasingly beginning to be perceived as a mutually beneficial partnership between two people? Given this state of affairs, it should not be surprising if this soon leads to social networks becoming not just one of many, but the only way of communication between people. And then for a “full” life it will be enough just to establish “communication” with your computer. According to a study by VTsIOM, the main reason for divorces in Russia is alcoholism and drug addiction (51% of the total number of divorces). Other reasons are housing problems, poverty, betrayal. The most “divorced” city in Russia is Moscow. 2006 was a record year for the capital, when more than 45 thousand married couples divorced their relationships. The divorce boom in recent years has also spread to Europe, where one marriage breaks up every half hour. The number of divorces is also growing in other cities. According to the Committee for Civil Registration, last year the number of divorced marriages in St. Petersburg increased by 8% compared to 2006 (23,871 divorces in 2006 and 25,794 divorces in 2007), the Gazeta website reports. spb06.04.2008See. Also.
Based on the results of this year, the number of divorces due to the fault of Facebook and other popular Internet sites may reach 45-50%, and by 2020 social networks may become main reason divorces not only in America, but also in Europe.
According to Gallup, one in three divorces last year involved a social network. This figure has been growing for the eighth year in a row - since the launch of the legendary. The more popular Mark Zuckerberg's creation becomes, the more Americans file for divorce.
The current situation scares not only the creators of social networks, but also numerous fighters for a happy family life.
What are the reasons for all these divorces?
There are five main reasons after which family life goes downhill. Firstly, many men and women do not advertise that they are married. They put single instead of married, do not post photos with an engaged person, add friends unknown to their wife (husband), and join dating groups.
Any of these facts infuriates the other half, who immediately begins to think about betrayal and their own inferiority. Suspicions, naturally, gradually turn into jealousy.
Thus, a resident of South Dakota, Al Jones, divorced his wife only because she added several gym friends as friends and did not publicly display a single photograph of him and Jones.
The latter attacked his wife shouting: “You are ashamed of me! I hate you!"
This couple lived together for 7 years and had four small children, who with great difficulty survived the trial and separation from their parents. In fact, the social network ruined the lives of six once happy people.
The second reason- flirting. A comment written or a compliment received instantly arouses suspicion.
Alaska resident Paula Hammers, for example, filed for divorce when she read her husband’s comments to her former classmates. The woman was especially angry by the fact that her husband was sending messages from his work computer, but he was constantly late from work, citing being busy.
Third reason- personal correspondence. It is not reflected on user pages, but husbands and wives find out about it when one of them forgets to “log out” or leaves a cell phone unattended.
So, in the state of Florida last year, more than a hundred marriages collapsed. Moreover, in all cases, divorce documents were filed a week after the wedding. The initiators were, as a rule, wives. They were horrified when they read intimate correspondence, which turned out to be nothing more than virtual sex.
Some husbands tried to justify that they corresponded with other women before meeting their current spouse. However, this did not help either.
The wives felt humiliated and insulted. Many were frightened by the “dirty fantasies” of the faithful and their promiscuous sex lives.
Fourthly - many husbands and wives find out about their partners’ infidelities thanks to anonymous messages. In California, for example, a prostitute is under investigation who, after having sex with clients, found them on social networks and began writing to their relatives.
The prosecutor's office does not know what to do with this intriguer. On the one hand, she wrote the pure truth and even to some extent opened the eyes of deceived people.
On the other hand, it contributed to the destruction of large happy families(20% of married men use the services of “moths” in the USA).
There are a great many such informers on social networks. Sometimes they destroy families due to elementary envy and awareness of their own inferiority. Even if the information they publish is not true, family relationships tension arises.
Fifth reason- the most significant and very rarely mentioned in the press. The fact is that social networks are interested in the maximum number of clicks, so information about a person (photos, groups, friends, hobbies, comments, etc.) should be as accessible as possible.
A person should have the right to surf the site under a name other than his own and use someone else’s photo. He should have the right to completely hide information about himself.
In Texas, for example, there was a recent case where a man registered social network, and his page automatically reflected the pages of everyone whose email addresses were in his email (received and sent). This is how he saw his own wife, who was “surfing” online not under her first and last name, but with her photograph. She used a fake account to correspond with her lovers, but it surfaced thanks to a new feature on the resource.
The couple has already filed for divorce, and the woman caught cheating plans to sue an online resource that, in her opinion, interferes with her personal life.
There are so many ways to connect with other people using social media. But you shouldn't let your online life negatively impact your real life. A serious mistake in this case can cost you a lot. Here are a few things you definitely shouldn't do when you're on social media.
Don't post photos of people without their permission
People are very sensitive when it comes to posting photos on social media. You wouldn't want your friend or relative to post your photo without your permission, so why do the same to them? You may not think that posting a photo is any big deal, but other people may disagree with you. So just ask permission before adding a photo and it will help you avoid disappointment and negative emotions from your loved ones.
Don't use social media when you're not in the mood
Social media should never be used to belittle or insult other people, and posting rude and nasty comments is the first rule of bad manners. Not only because it might hurt someone, but also because it airs your dirty laundry for everyone to see. Do you really want the whole world to know that your partner cheated on you? So, it is better to use social media as a means to spread positivity. Many people like to see holiday greetings or interesting articles filled with meaning. If you are upset and feel the urge to post something unpleasant online, put down your phone or tablet, step away from the computer and let off steam in some other way.
Don't leave messages impulsively
Naturally, you are on edge thanks to your have a good party, however, posting photos with guests may not be best idea, as this may offend those people you did not invite. And while your friends might think a photo of you drinking from a beer bottle looks amazing, your future employer might have a different opinion. Always think about what you put online. In ancient times, people wrote letters and their delivery took weeks or even months, so people only sent meaningful messages, which they re-read before sending. Now people can send messages even while drunk. But once you leave your message online, it stays there forever. So before you hit send, think about the impact your message will have on your life and the lives of others.
Don’t mistake communication on a social network for communication in real life.
Communicating on a social network is not the same as communicating face-to-face or even talking on the phone. Human eyes arranged in such a way as to look into the eyes of the interlocutor. The first thing a newborn baby's brain is wired to do is find someone's eyes and make eye contact. Therefore, interacting with someone in real life is much more rewarding than interacting on social media. Yes, you can start a relationship through a social network, but there will come a time when you need face-to-face contact. After all, you can't hold someone's hand or hug them through a computer. People don't notice the effect social media has on them. Do not forget that this is a virtual, not a real connection. In many ways, social media has made this world a better place, but people still need the touch of another person.
Pay attention to how social media influences you
Do you know how social media affects your mood? Or why do you use them? This important questions questions you need to ask yourself because it’s so easy to waste time on social media. Half an hour quickly turns into an hour, and now you realize that it is already dawn outside the window. In most cases, people do not ask themselves the question: “Am I doing this too long?” So you should check yourself periodically to see if social media is helping or harming your life.
Don't view social media as bad.
Spending too much time on social media can lead to an unhealthy addiction. But it is also unhealthy to criticize social networks, to be afraid of them and to see them as exclusively evil. When a person develops a phobia of social media and begins propaganda against it, this is a serious problem. This is no less harmful than dependence on them. In this life, everything should be in moderation, including social networks.
Don't share too much information
Social networks are public. This is not a secret page or your diary, so you should not share personal information with the world. Every person should remember that there should not be too much information. Please note that you may hurt the feelings of people you care about if you share too much information. For example, if you post information that should remain between you and your romantic partner, or if you discuss your partner with family and friends where your partner can see it. Every relationship is different, so you may want to talk to your partner before you post any information about them online.
Don't lie
Lying in itself is a source of big problems, but if you lie on social media, you will be found out very quickly. For example, don't tell someone you're in one place and then show through your messages that you're in a completely different place. You will definitely be caught.
Don't reveal important news prematurely
Incredible, but true - in our time it is better to be late somewhere (here everything can be attributed to traffic jams or urgent work), but there is absolutely no excuse for not responding to a message in the messenger on time.
Slowly but surely appearing in our lives, over the course of several years, absolutely unnoticed, social networks have become an integral part of communication. Now it’s hard to imagine how literally ten years ago we were chatting on a landline phone, and instead of the ubiquitous Wi-Fi we needed to have a router.
Few people understood how SMS messages were transmitted back then, but now we are in touch around the clock, we just need to manage to charge our smartphone on time. So how did it happen that from a means of communication, social networks have become a real stumbling block and you can often hear stories about how couples actually ended their relationship due to the fact that the other half was slow to respond to messages, which means there was not enough expression respect? This is modern logic...
1. Likes are now the main indicator of how well your vacation is going, how you look today (if you like to post selfies) and whether your new dress suits you. Therefore, if fate prevents someone from giving you a like on a photo that is important to you! He will be punished by fate (in the form of you), and it doesn’t matter that young people a priori spend much less time on social networks and generally perceive the culture of likes differently (although, of course, there are always exceptions).
In order to attract his attention, you don’t need to upload all the photos you have online at once and, hiding, wait for him to appreciate at least one of the hundred published. Maybe it would be better for him to tell you when they meet that you look great today?
2. Often, in order to write some important message for us, we gather our strength for several hours (and sometimes days!), carefully thinking through not only every word, but even punctuation marks, and now, holding our breath , you are waiting for an answer... but there is still no answer. And it seems like he’s online, but for some reason there’s still no response. And here a real storm could fall on the unfortunate person again, because he was online, saw the message (and it probably was!) and left.
Surprisingly, are you really sure that he is ready to deprive himself of social networks just to hide from your messages? Most often (of course, there are always exceptions) it turns out that he left at the same moment or shortly before you sent the message, but you, being in the heat of feelings and in nervous tension, will for some reason be unconditionally sure that he has disappeared it only after you wrote something.
No, of course, everything happens, and he could really only come out because of what you wrote. In this case, the guy is a real coward, and here you should think about whether you are ready to waste your time on him. In any case, you have only one way out - stop tormenting yourself with guesses, building theories about his behavior and waiting - get busy with other things, get distracted! Most likely, this is just a coincidence, and you shouldn’t create a detective movie in your head, trying to understand how he dared to do this to you.
3. The only thing worse than this can be another situation: when you wrote a message, he did not log out of the network, he even read it... but never responded! Here you begin to experience the whole range of possible emotions - anger, pain, disappointment, you want to cry and scream at him out of anger, you want to tell your friends about everything and at the same time be left alone and suffer.
Give him time - why don't you consider the option that he's just busy? (even though it is clear that you are the most important thing and you will be angry with him anyway). Or maybe you have stumped him with your message and he has absolutely no idea how to respond.
There is no need to write a dozen more messages after him, which will completely disarm and discourage the unfortunate guy. In order to somehow avoid quarrels and showdowns, we advise you to discuss this issue with him when you meet, find out why he doesn’t answer, but under no circumstances write five minutes later that everything is over between you and you In general, you don’t want to see him anymore since he doesn’t have time for you.
4. What could be worse? He liked your friend's photo. So what if she has a boyfriend and they don’t communicate at all? In virtual life, this like means a lot (much more than he would like), and then pictures of them together begin to line up in his head, and he tells her how beautiful she is and confesses his love...
Drive these thoughts away! Even if he wrote a comment and she (oh, horror!) replied to it. Think about it - if they had something to hide, then all the correspondence would obviously take place in private. If you are sure that your friend is flirting with the guy you like, then you should talk to your friend. But don’t create scenes and showdowns without making sure that they “ virtual romance"is not just another figment of your fertile imagination.
In general, of course it’s difficult, but it’s worth starting to learn to live real life. Arrange meetings, listen to music and read news on social networks, and judge the relationship between people by their actions.
And yes, as the song says, “our telephone handsets prevent us from doing things,” so maybe you should start saying everything you want to your eyes? Then there won’t be these situations when he read but didn’t answer.
For a hundred years and two days, I didn’t have a page on Odn****kah. In general, everyone understood everything. And there would be no need to open it for a hundred years. I don’t know why I needed this. Well, what a shame, everyone has it, but I don’t. not in order.
Even better, Sasha receives a message from Unknown Unknown, where it is written that I am scamming him. Of course we quarreled. It’s not pleasant enough to read such a message to him, but I’m disgusted to make excuses, as if I’m really guilty of something or I’m just living with a person and wasting time.
More and more Russians are getting divorced because of social networks
Specialists from the St. Petersburg Psychoanalytic Center published the results of their study on the influence of social networks on the number of divorces. According to their findings, 15% of marriages broke up because of them.
About 40% of couples who decide to divorce cite the psychological and practical unpreparedness of the spouses for divorce as the main reason. family life. This “lack of preparedness” manifests itself in the form of rudeness of spouses towards each other, unwillingness to help with household chores and raising children, greed and money-grubbing of one of the spouses, etc.
“As we see, a very specific betrayal has exactly the same chance of destroying a family as the active participation of one of the spouses in the life of social networks.
How they cheat you out of money on social networks or let’s talk a little about Trojans
Next you are asked to enter your phone number for confirmation. and such messages are observed when logging into the most popular social networks - Odnoklassniki, Facebook, VKontakte and Skype. Surely Twitter is on the same list, only the owners of the computer with which the problem happened do not use it, so this is just my guess.
This behavior clearly indicates the presence of a virus on the computer.
Fans of social media networks get divorced more often than others
Researchers analyzed data on divorces and social media users. networks in 43 countries for 2008-2010 and found that the increase in the number of social users. networks in the country by 20 percent causes an increase in divorces by 2.18 percent.
The researchers also looked at data collected in 2011 at the University of Texas at Austin, which asked 1,160 married people ages 18 to 39 to answer how happy they were in their relationships.
Experts do not think that the social media themselves.
My husband divorced my friend because of social networks
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Communication on social media networks leads to divorce.
Over the past two years, according to experts, approximately 15% of marriages in Russia are dissolved due to the active participation of citizens in social Internet networks. The Internet is known to facilitate the development of relationships. This often happens because the process of courtship itself has moved to the Internet for many today.
According to St. Petersburg psychotherapist Genady Golubev, if previously family problems were provoked by specialized dating sites, now social networks - VKontakte, Odnoklassniki and other similar services have come to the fore.
Social networks are the reason for 45% of divorces
In addition, networks have become one of the main sources of news in all spheres of life, be it politics, economics or culture. However, research shows that, along with positive influence, there are also negative ones.
Family problems due to social networks
By the end of this year, the number of divorces due to the fault of Facebook and other popular Internet sites may reach 45-50%, and by 2020, social networks may become the main cause of divorces not only in America, but also in Europe.
According to Gallup, one in three divorces last year involved a social network. This figure has been growing for the eighth year in a row - since the launch of the legendary Facebook resource.
Divorce due to social networks
Among various negative consequences There are also ways to use social networks that hardly anyone can think about when entering their username and password to log into a social network. For example, that it is precisely because of social networks that a completely prosperous and seemingly strong family can collapse. Unfortunately, as it recently turned out, social networks influence the number of divorces quite significantly.
Last week, the news released by the American College of Marriage Lawyers was very interesting.
Scam on a phone number on social media. networks
Just the other day, or rather on December 29, 2012, I received a message on Odnoklassniki from a friend asking me to send him my phone number, literally - “hello)) give me your cell number).” I was surprised, after all, we’ve been working together for more than one year, but I didn’t give up my number - “Hello! Look on your phone!”
When they send an SMS or call from the left number, they introduce themselves with your name and ask you to urgently send money somewhere, for example, you hit a person in an accident - to resolve the issue, etc.
Now let’s imagine, this LCN received your number, ordered a new SIM with your number, yours immediately becomes blocked and you are now without a connection, and with the new SIM they start calling on your behalf…….
Psychology Forum
So, I am a miner myself, I have been living in a civil marriage with my wife for 4 years. Before that we dated for 3 years. We have 2 children, 4 and 3 years old. I love her madly, perhaps even more than in the *candy* period. I’ve been very doubtful about her feelings lately; her attitude towards me is more like a habit than love. Previously, she wanted to officially confirm our relationship, I refused due to financial difficulties (I want her to have a normal wedding), now I propose - she avoids answering.
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Nowadays popular social networks have become a place for scammers to make money. Attackers defraud gullible users of money, promising to deliver inexpensive clothes from abroad, arrange a meeting of classmates in a restaurant, or even simply install useful applications on their computer.
Having collected a large sum, the scammers disappear and are almost impossible to find. The Kyiv police department for combating cybercrime says that the number of divorces on social networks is growing every day.
