What do we want to instill in children? Kindness, decency, courage, perseverance... Hand on heart, many of us limit ourselves to these very general concepts. But what exactly do they mean for each of us? What things are fundamentally important to me, and what are not so important?
It is very useful to ask yourself these questions and reflect on the “parental program”. And not on the run, but seriously, formulating and writing down your thoughts. After all, if our goals are vague, we miss a lot of important things that we could, but were unable to give to our children. To avoid this, writer Lindsay Mead created her “parenting program.”
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It seems like only recently that I was wondering what principles my daughter Grace should learn before she turns 10. But Whit is already approaching this mark. In less than 2 months he will be 10, and there will be no one left in our house whose age can be designated by one number. As with Grace, I'm always wondering what values and principles Whit needs to internalize without questioning them at all.
I think about this topic and even write down options, but at the same time I understand that not everything depends only on me. I know that what I do is more important than what I say. I should have behaved in accordance with these principles all the time, because over 10 years he managed to unknowingly adopt many of my principles and values.
I hope that I did a good job of teaching my son these principles by example.
Here's what I'd like him to have learned by the time he's 10:
1. Respect others. Both men and women. The headmistress of your school and the homeless man at the subway deserve equal respect. You already do it, instinctively. Please never change this principle.
2. Pranks and physical activity are healthy and fun. I know I shush you more often than I should because I prefer silence myself, but I'm working on it. Physical activity and even some wildness is completely normal. But there are also boundaries - physical violence is NOT normal. It is extremely important to understand where the border lies.
3. No means no. And period. It doesn't matter who says no and in what context.
4. Don't hide your sensitivity. You experience everything incredibly deeply - the passage of time, memories, love, losses. Don't suppress your feelings. You can be a strong and at the same time sensitive person. In fact, a rich palette of feelings makes you stronger. This is true for both boys and girls.
5. You cannot make another person happy - not me, not dad, not sister. No one. And it's not your responsibility. We all know this and I hope you will always remember this.
Don't let anyone make you feel responsible for his or her happiness.
You are responsible for yourself and for your attitude towards others, which, of course, can affect their mood. But don't let anyone make you feel responsible for his or her happiness. It makes me happy to know that you are succeeding, overcoming difficulties, feeling enthusiastic, enjoying life and living intentionally.
It's really good. I have not yet learned to stop time, but I know that when we pay close attention to everything that happens, even everyday life, we are rewarded with rich memories and days full of life.
7. Find something you are passionate about. No matter what it is, I don’t want to hear you say “I’m bored.” Never. There are so many interesting things around you to explore, learn and experience. I will support any of your hobbies, be it hockey, or programming, or playing the violin - or even all at once! But you have to find something you want to throw yourself into.
8. There can be nothing worse than being spoiled/ungrateful. I am a strict mother, although it is difficult for me to punish or scold. But if I notice the slightest manifestation of spoiledness or ingratitude, I will react instantly (and without any regret). You rarely have them, and it doesn't seem like you're naturally like that.
Please always remember how lucky we are. It is a huge privilege to live as we do every day. Little Sunday surprises, volunteering, helping the homeless, thank you notes - I tried to show you how lucky it is to live like our family. This is the best vaccination against spoilage and ingratitude.
9. Even if you don’t start doing something, you can still be wrong. I always remember one quote from Martin Luther King: “The silence of our friends hurts far more than the words of our enemies.” The gang leader or instigator is to blame, but those who followed him are also to blame. Don't be afraid to stand up to the popular kids when they do something bad. This hasn't happened yet, but I know it will happen someday.
10. I love you no matter what. Mistakes are part of life. I will love you even if you make mistakes. To learn something, you need to let go of the past and start again. I showed this in my own example, perhaps even too obviously: you are raised by a mother who is not afraid to show her weaknesses, who is not afraid to fail, apologize and start again.
Many parents notice how is changing their child is 10 years old, at what rate is he growing and develops. Especially girls. What can I say - this is the first stage of adolescence.
Physiological features
At 10 years old, a child stretches out, height on average it is 134 - 140 cm, weight 34 - 36 kg.
Happening hormonal change in the body. Girls develop faster than boys body Some of them change: breasts are formed, hips are rounded. It leads to embarrassment and embarrassment.
Finish changing teeth. As a rule, all the milk ones fell out, and the indigenous ones grew in their place. You should visit once every six months dentist for the prevention of caries and abnormal tooth growth.
Psychological and mental development of ten-year-old children
Primary activity - educational. But in addition to complete immersion in studies, more and more children are drawn to communicate with peers.
Children already have a lot understand and they can explain. And they begin to communicate with people “in an adult way.” More compete with each other in strength, wit, clothing, accessories and more.
IN children's team has already leaders, there are outcasts, internal interest groups have formed. Opinion friends is very important. The child is increasingly moving away from his parents, he wants to be an adult, but you can negotiate with him, talk, he still needs parental advice.
Many psychologists believe that an important step in the development of the personality of a younger child school age is the emergence of “adulthood”.
Indicators of the emergence of “adulthood”
- The child wants to be treated like an adult.
- The child wants to carry out an assignment independently, like an adult (for example, to go shopping on his own).
- He hides some personal matters and conversations. Doesn't want adults to interfere.
- Tries to defend his own position.
Parents need
- Talk to your child on different topics, including about security on the street, at home, about the dangers of smoking, alcohol and psychoactive substances, as well as sexually maturation and relationships with the opposite sex.
- Control studies and extracurricular activities: visiting clubs and sections.
- Know children and, preferably, families of children with whom the child is friends and hangs out.
- Show private example.
- Identify pets responsibilities child (for example, taking out the trash, cleaning your room).
- Follow food child and sleep (at least 9-10 hours).
- Limit watching TV shows, films, computer games, as well as monitoring visits and communication on the Internet.
Kids grow quickly, acquire new skills, and copy the behavior of adults. Parents can help harmonious development, based on generalized characteristics compiled by experienced pediatricians, psychologists and teachers. By the age of one and ten, most children learn to be independent and begin to show character.
Physical development of babies at one year and ten months
At this age, the baby's movements become more confident. Is your child trying to move independently? and these attempts are increasingly proving successful. Some children can bounce in place without losing their balance or falling over on their side.
Playing with the ball is now much more interesting, because you can hold it tightly in your hands and throw it forward or to the side. Parents are touched and happy about all these new skills, with the exception of the actively developing ability to take off their clothes.
Closer to the second year, children begin to take off the things carefully put on by their mother - a hat, mittens, a blouse. And everything that can be stolen ends up on the floor.
Don't punish your child. This is how he defends his independence. Buy clothes with fasteners that are more difficult for your baby to handle than Velcro and snaps.
Most babies have 18 teeth coming out by their second year, while some begin to have molars. If it’s less, there’s no need to panic—everyone’s teeth grow at an individual rate.
Features of mental development at the age of 1 year and 10 months
At this stage, all children actively continue to get acquainted with the world around them. They are interested in everything and everyone.
Parents need to be especially careful. Because a child at this age has not yet developed the instinct of self-preservation. A child, finding himself alone with an object that may be dangerous, cannot experience the feeling of anxiety inherent in adults.
In addition, the child begins to imitate his parents and repeats their actions. Many people like to wash with adults. They carefully copy the sequence of their actions.
Don't be surprised if your daughter shows an increased interest in cosmetics and tries to put on makeup. This is how she projects the actions of her mother, which she observes every day.
In games, children aged 1 to 10 prefer collecting construction sets, studying three-dimensional figures, and building towers. Watching what an adult builds during the game, the little one will diligently try to repeat it.
The range of emotions is expanding. The ability to empathize and care develops.
Close people need to show attention and care, give the child love, show understanding and take into account his opinion. Family warmth and support help in the formation of a harmonious personality.
Communication with people around you
By one year and ten months, toddlers are able to understand some of the requests of adults and fulfill them. On the street they pay attention to other children, and some kids like group games.
But not all children are enthusiastic about playing with others. There is no need to force the baby. Watching other people's children from the side, he takes a closer look at his peers and their games.
By the age of one and ten, children begin to distinguish intonations in conversation and are able to answer the questions “Who is this?”, “What is this?”, if you point them to an object or image of people who are familiar to them.
What should children already be able to do at one year and 10 months?
Every day the baby learns something new. By this age, one year and 10 months, the baby begins to frequently communicate with others, uttering not only sounds, but also words. Having met a peer on the street or at a party, the child may try to communicate and make friends.
Constant communication between parents and the child, reading fairy tales, and watching cartoons helps in the development of speech. Children at this age require re-reading the same fairy tale or watching the same cartoon. They remember many words and sentences and try to reproduce them.
Toddlers of this age not only take off their clothes. Most children put on mittens, a hat, and a scarf themselves, and some try to put on their shoes without outside help.
Don’t be surprised if during this period the baby begins to disassemble his toys into parts - this is how learning new things happens. It would do well for parents to be vigilant; in these situations, it is necessary to check that the toys do not contain small parts that the baby could swallow or sharp corners that could cause injury.
By this age, toddlers hold cutlery independently and can drink from a cup without spilling its contents.
Nutrition for children one year and 10 months
Every month, the children's diet is replenished with new products and dishes; they are necessary for growth and development.
The daily menu should include such products as:
- porridge;
- fish, eggs (alternate);
- dairy products;
- meat;
- fruits;
- vegetables.
Classic milk porridge must be prepared so that the consistency is slightly viscous. It is advisable to add vegetables, fruits or boiled meat to porridge without milk. Cooking porridge in the oven allows you to diversify your diet and taste. It turns out something similar to pudding.
The amount of pure milk must be reduced. It reduces appetite and can cause stomach and intestinal problems. Therefore, it is better to add it to soups and cereals.
- cottage cheese;
- yogurt;
- kefir;
- sour cream.
Eggs should appear on the menu no more than once every 2 days.
Fresh fruits - necessary products in the diet, but it is advisable to observe how the baby’s body reacts to their introduction. Some fruits can cause allergies, while others can have a laxative effect.
Dried fruits can be included in dishes , but not more than 50 g per week. Dried fruits are added to porridges and used for cooking compotes and jelly.
Raw vegetables or vegetable salads before lunch helps improve appetite. Grating vegetables is not entirely necessary. At this age, children are able to eat foods cut into small pieces.
The incoming food must contain at least 70% carbohydrates.
Intelligence and character of a baby at 1 year and 10 months
Children at the age of 10 months begin to understand what adults are talking about, with the exception of complex words that are not yet known to them. Therefore, it is necessary to carefully monitor what and how to say in the presence of the baby.
In addition, children learn to solve more complex problems and are able to select elements of the same color as their toy or clothing.
Facial expressions, intonations and gestures become more diverse, and in games kids remember and reproduce correct sequence actions.
The child tries to show his individuality and defend his own opinion. Because of this, riots and hysterics occur if they bring him a bottle or plate that is not his “favorite” or if he is put on the “wrong” outfit.
Parents must understand that these are not just whims, but a desire for stability and attempts to express their opinions.
A child between the ages of 10 and 10 can express his emotions through bites.
Reasons for this behavior
- Aggression.
- Excitement.
- Curiosity.
It is necessary to explain to the child that such behavior is unacceptable, and that by biting he causes pain to the person.
Educational games for children aged 1 year and 10 months
It is necessary to take care of the development of the baby; it is not advisable to let everything take its course.
At this age, the emphasis is on games for development fine motor skills, learning to correctly determine the color and shape of objects, drawing.
It is advisable to use construction sets and sets that contain many parts of different colors, shapes and sizes.
Exercising in the morning will help strengthen the immune system and make the baby’s movements more confident.
Babies at 1 year and 10 months require close attention. Work with your child more often, and your baby will develop correctly and harmoniously.
Hello, sobsna, the question is in the header.
Given: 12-year-old girl, parents are divorced. It is possible to move to an EU country from Kazakhstan for permanent residence. When moving, there is support in the form of a bilingual school, positive relatives with children the same age as my daughter, my great job, good prospects in every sense.
I wrote about divorced parents for a reason. My daughter is not against or in favor of the idea of moving, she says that we need to think about it. I know that her ex-mother-in-law has a great influence on her (more even blackmail, they say, my heart will break without you, etc.) and, if she finds out, it is quite possible that she will put pressure on the child. It is possible that the father will also get involved.
I don't want to take my daughter to a country with greater prospects. If possible, we will fly once a year and meet with relatives. I am not going to prohibit communication with anyone.
What arguments would you give?
84My sun is 11 years old (daughter).
I feel my complete failure as a mother. If you deprive me of everything, you will lie there and spit at the ceiling.
We swam, we know.
But he won’t give up an inch of ground. At a certain time, lessons are not ready - it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t bother with homework. I write out deserved ones - I’m the cruelest mother, she’s not to blame for anything. About the prospects with such an attitude towards life and the impossibility of holding out at least until passing the OGE, it was discussed and discussed with me and with my grandmother (with hysterical screams, these conversations) a thousand and one times. Physical punishment took place.
I realized that I was becoming even more embittered.
The story about life in a box and a certain social circle did not particularly inspire her.
A priori I’m sure nothing good will happen to her.
Everyone else can have any opinion.
I will soon be leaving for Kashchenko for permanent residence.
Colossal self-doubt, covers it up with indifference: I don’t care at all.
She doesn’t like any subjects, she’s really good at English. Objectively. In all schools she was noted for this.
Got B1 last year.
I sang odes to her for 2-3 months, then I said: come on, Marin, you will undergo training for B2.
A set of vowels in response, she won’t, she doesn’t need it, nothing will work out, she says, mom, give it up.
The fact that I have all these certificates doesn’t matter.
She sent models to school and came on the first day in tears. Some girl older than her threw it in her face: why are you standing here? Get out.
The daughter was rude to her in response, crying at home that she didn’t want to go until her temperature rose.
All the teachers and coaches say the same thing, independently of each other: she’s not stupid, she has an excellent memory, which sometimes helps her get out, but she’s a terrible lazy person, she doesn’t know how and doesn’t want to work in a team.
And she insists that there are no people who don’t like freebies. She would even like to earn a living by renting out premises.
He doesn’t want to exert himself at all. He even fights to clean up the plates after himself.
Her dad lives separately.
They see each other once every 2 months - McDonald's and a movie according to the standard scheme. He often promises to come to her, but breaks it off. She sits at home and waits for his call all day. This has happened more than once.
She visited him for the first time in the summer at the dacha for 10-12 days.
She learned to ride an ATV, he let her control the motorcycle. She left in tears.
She herself has two higher educations, one of which she received for herself. My grandmother is a gold medalist and believes that she should study with excellent marks.
So, grandma is not an example, but an irritating factor. My daughter once told her to her face: she’s crazy about her studies, and you’re bothering me.
My hands are already giving up. I wanted swimming, bullet shooting, photo studio, you’re welcome.
And as effort was needed, the boar fell and its paws to the side.
Sorry, this is a very sore subject.
I’ll say right away that the child is not mine, but my close friend’s.
8 year old girl, 2nd grade.
been there many times!!! spotted taking money from father/mother
1) I found a stash in a book and took it for myself, they found 5000 bills on the child
2) the father left money for his wife, even if it was on the table, the child took it and returned it for 300 rubles. less, throwing the rest into mom's bag
3) mom returned 1000 rubles to dad - the child at some point took it from his father’s clothes pocket
4) the day before yesterday dad stayed with the child, mom was on a business trip (this is important)
the child pulled out 1000 rubles from his pants pocket, the father noticed quickly, because I went to the store half an hour after this moment, and this was all done in front of my father’s eyes, the child was fussing around next to the clothes (in the afternoon) (((
the conversation was serious (in the evening), without mom!!! (she was away)
The child did NOT return the money, she said that she spent it!!!
I can’t wrap my head around how in a couple of hours 8 summer child can spend 1000 rubles.
I told my friend that we need to look into it thoroughly, that this could be something serious...
I'm waiting for advice from the forum on what to do?
I was raised in such a way that you can’t take anything that belongs to others, including from bags/pockets, my child is the same ((((
If I don't answer right away, sorry
I'll read everything!!!
We had a debate on this topic at work. Two colleagues have daughters studying in the 2nd grade of the same school, but the classes themselves are different. One colleague is older (over 40), daughter in 2B, the other is young (a little over 30), daughter in 2A. The whole parallel had an autumn holiday the other day. A group of children from grade 2B performed a song, performing it with dance elements. The girls were dressed in tulle skirts and a T-shirt, which was tied in a knot on the stomach, and a 5-7cm strip of body was visible between the top and bottom. It is because of this that the dispute flared up. The younger one and half of the team were indignant that this was an obscene look for second-graders, that this was an unacceptable demonstration of sexuality at such a young age, girls should not show their navel. The second colleague, and with her the other half of the team, did not see anything obscene in such an appearance and considered that this was just a stage image and there was no sexuality here at all. Whose side I was on - I won’t say anything for now.
It became interesting to have an outside opinion. Do you think it is acceptable for girls to look like this on stage or is it still obscene?
And I didn’t neglect my upbringing, from a young age I explain what is right and what is wrong... I studied, and I myself don’t set a bad example... I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t lead some kind of wild lifestyle... at home It’s clean, prepared, the children are well-groomed... I try to entertain them as much as possible, I take them on different trips. He has been a difficult child since birth, I don’t even really remember the first year because of his constant yelling. Then it seemed to get easier... in the garden there were also constant complaints, they even wanted to send me to the kindergarten for the others, but I barely fought back... disobedience, absolutely does nothing that is asked. There is no aggression.
He goes to a regular school, studies averagely, and only because we are catching up with the material at home, the teachers have already given up on him.
This morning I was driven to hysterics, and I’m still shaking. I don’t know what to do, I can’t do this anymore!!!
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Each person takes on enormous responsibility when becoming a parent. And of course, everyone wants their child to grow up kind, sympathetic, honest and brave. But all these qualities do not come out of thin air. Proper upbringing and personal example are the key to success.
We are in website We have collected 10 things that are best introduced to a child under 10 years old.
1. Girls and boys are equal, you need to respect both of them
Respect is a quality that is definitely worth instilling in a child. This includes respect for peers, regardless of their gender.
2. Don't be afraid to make mistakes
Learning from other people's mistakes is a talent that not everyone has. It is important to be able to benefit from your defeats. Teach your child not to be afraid to lose and make mistakes.
3. Grades are not the main thing. The main thing is knowledge
How many parents scold their children for every grade that does not meet their expectations. But assessment is not always an indicator of knowledge. Maybe your child is just a good cheater. Instill in him from childhood the idea that knowledge is much more important than grades in a diary.
4. Parents are not enemies; you can always turn to them for help.
Not everyone can be a friend to their child, especially since they already have friends. And all that is required are good parents who know moderation in everything. Show your child that you can be trusted. A moralizing tone or shouting is not the most suitable way for this.
5. Don’t let a bully, a teacher, or anyone hurt you.
Often parents show that friends, a teacher, or simply other people are more authoritative than the child. Because of this, a lot of complexes are born and the inability to defend one’s opinion. Tell them that respect is important, but defending your point of view and fighting back in some situations is also necessary. The main thing is to do it correctly.
6. Don't do things you don't like to earn the approval of others.
A child does not always understand that popularity is not the most important thing in life, and strives with all his might to get it. Show by example that it is more important to be honest and decent than to gain the favor of other people by overstepping your principles.
7. Don’t be afraid to ask if you don’t understand something.
It's okay to ask questions. And it’s even better than sitting there looking smart, not really understanding anything. It's good if your child learns this in childhood.
8. Always speak up if you're not feeling well.
