Tell your friend that she is dear to you, that you need her in your life, that you do not want to lose her company. Remind her that quarrels happen among those closest to you, but any difficult situation can be resolved. Discuss with her possible options resolution of the current situation.
If your friend asks for forgiveness, don’t start explaining to her what she was guilty of. Forgive her and communicate as if nothing happened. Or you can explain to her what exactly you are, but do not use the phrases “You were wrong, because”, with the help of such constructions you can easily start a quarrel all over again.
Make up in private. A crowded place is not a good place to restore peace.
Do what you love. If you have clarified all the important points, do something with your friend that interests you both. You can bake something, sew something, draw something, play some game. Joint activities will help you forget about the quarrel. The main thing is not to try to distract yourself in this way if you have not yet made peace or have not understood the nature of the conflict. In such a case Team work will only heat up the atmosphere.
Never bring up conflicts from the past. Remembering previous quarrels will bring you back to the appropriate emotional condition, and here any spark is enough for a new conflict.
Complaining about your friend to someone else is a surefire way to quarrel
Never discuss a quarrel with mutual friends. They will probably tell your friend about this, which means you will also be guilty of complaining about her. There's nothing worse than having to explain that you didn't mean it at all. Such situations happen very often, and after this the relationship deteriorates irreparably.During reconciliation, do not be boring; listing all the flaws and shortcomings will not lead to anything good.
Wait at least ten minutes, go somewhere, if necessary, cry or scream. Release your emotions and start making peace. Keep the dialogue constructive. If you think this is possible for yourself, take the first step.
Be prepared to compromise, do not get caught up in trifles and unprincipled issues. Be the first to suggest forgetting about unimportant things. This can promote rapprochement.
After reconciliation, take a walk together to the mall, go shopping, or visit a beauty salon. This will enhance positive emotions, and the quarrel will be forgotten.
Women's friendship is especially important! A good friend will always come to the rescue. He will listen and support when the need arises. Losing a close relationship with her because of a quarrel is especially offensive. Don't be discouraged, there are ways of reconciliation.
- It’s better to never quarrel with a friend, but if this happens, take a step towards the first one. Try not to remember the quarrel, but talk about something more pleasant. Well, for example, give her a compliment: “What a beautiful dress you are wearing today (hair, makeup, manicure)? Tell me, who invited you on a date? Such a question can make her smile, and then the truce is not far away.
- If you don’t see each other every day, be brave and call and ask for the recipe for her signature dish that you want to please your husband or boyfriend. “I haven’t even tried the pies you bake are better” - don’t skimp on compliments. The person will notice that you are trying to correct the situation with such behavior and, most likely, will understand how important your friendship is to you.
- Let someone else reconcile you, who supposedly does not know that you are in a quarrel (you can tell him about this in confidence), and invite you somewhere where you will encounter each other unexpectedly.
- If you can’t get into a conversation, let this person say: “Girls, did you have a fight? Make peace urgently, I have never met such friends before, a monument to your friendship needs to be erected!” A positive assessment of your relationship from the outside may make your friend think about its value.
What to write to smooth out the impression of a quarrel?
If you are afraid to call a friend you had a fight with and meet her in person, write her a text message, an email, or a message on a social network. In the latter case, by the way, you can give her a nice private gift. Remember some good occasion - Her Angel Day, professional holiday, 10 years of your acquaintance, etc.
Be sincere. Remember what your friend asked you before the fight. Maybe she wanted to know the phone number of your manicurist or hairdresser, the address of a store, or asked you for a movie. Write to her about what she needs, offer your help.
Don’t think that your friend will never forgive you; maybe she is also sitting at home right now and thinking about what reason to come up with to make peace with you.
What to do if your friend is to blame?
You will make a major mistake if you remind your friend that she is to blame. Reconciliation never begins with memories of grievances. If you have forgiven a person, put an end to it and don’t go back to the past.
A good way of reconciliation is to pretend that nothing happened, but this does not always work out.
What was your friend's fault? Didn't pay you back? If you don’t want to tell her about this directly, say: “Can you imagine, I’m left completely without money, a colleague borrowed from me at work and won’t pay it back.” How will your friend react? Will he remember his duty? If she doesn’t remember, then it’s time to remind her directly. Remember that there is nothing wrong with this.
If the cause of your discord was a young man who was allegedly taken away from you by a friend, think, maybe it was not she who was a traitor, but he who betrayed you? Or perhaps these are sincere feelings that united these people beyond their will. Think about who is more important to you, him or her. Maybe they are better suited to each other after all? Tell your friend that you are happy for her happiness, but you won’t give her anyone else. By doing this, you may not only not lose a friend, but also gain good friend in the person of a former young man.
Friendship between women is a rather insidious thing. And often ladies quarrel with each other, while suffering and not understanding how to make peace. We offer 8 options for solving the problem, choose yours, depending on the situation.
Tip 1
Take the first step
If you really want to make peace with your girlfriend, you need to take the first steps. Don't wait for her to call or write. If it’s difficult to come visit or dial a number, you can write an SMS or on a social network.
It is advisable that the message or communication begins in a friendly tone; there is no need to remind you that there was a quarrel.
You can write banal things: “Hi, how are you?”, or simply: “Hey, let's have coffee tonight.” If the friend’s offense is not too great, after such words she will apologize, and the communication will continue.
You can even pretend that nothing happened and just continue your friendship. Usually, if the friendship is strong, everything will work out on its own.
Ask for forgiveness
Sometimes a minor quarrel does not even require the word “sorry.” Disagreements and disagreements, different views - this is something that does not require an apology.
But if there was really some action by which you hurt your friend’s feelings, you need to apologize. And this must be done in person.
There is no need to write SMS, Facebook, or call and say two words “forgive me.” Buy your friend's favorite treat and visit her without an invitation. When she opens the door, smile, hug her and ask for forgiveness. Usually, girls melt over various cute things. And over a delicious cake or sweets, you’ll laugh at your grievances together.
The main thing is to apologize sincerely. And during the conversation, clarify all the contradictions so that there are no omissions left.
Tip 3
Admit your guilt
If you are to blame, be sure to tell your friend about it. This will melt her heart and allow her to look at you with different eyes. After a girl says that she is wrong, relationships with her friends usually improve. After all, she remained the leader and formally “won” your quarrel.
Even if your friend is wrong and guilty, but you want to maintain the friendship, say that you made a mistake. So settle the conflict. But don’t overdo it: a friendship in which one always “takes the rap” for the other and takes the blame cannot last long.
Tip 4
Remove the reason for the quarrel
You will argue with your friend as long as there is a reason.
The most common reasons are: jealousy, envy, conflicts over boyfriends and husbands.
Try to make sure that your friend is not jealous of your boyfriend, that is, do not give her any reasons. Don't flirt with him, but behave as discreetly as possible. If you see that your girlfriend is jealous of your wealth or career, just never tell her about it. Don't emphasize your status, don't brag.
Smooth, friendly, pure relationships, sincerity on your part will help you maintain your friendship.
Quarrels that arise over husbands and young people are complex. Sometimes friendship never returns after them. But here you don’t need to choose: husband or girlfriend, but clearly set your priorities and talk with your friend. You need to explain to her your feelings and be as sincere as possible. She should understand if she is a real girlfriend.
Tip 5
Sorry
If your friend was wrong, but you don't want to lose the friendship, sincerely forgive her. Then everything will become clear to you: you will know that you need to make peace with her. After all, that’s what the heart tells you.
Surprise
If you are tormented by a quarrel, and your friend is difficult, and you can’t win her over with an apology and a visit, give her a surprise. You can buy the gift she dreamed of, invite her to a good cafe, to the cinema, or to go shopping. But all this should be arranged very nicely, in a girlish way, so that she not only agrees, but melts.
Tip 7
Regain trust
For example, you know that a friend has a sick grandmother in the hospital - visit her; she doesn’t have time to pick up the child from kindergarten - warn your friend and pick up the child.
The girls don’t have a good job - help them find a better one, thanks to your connections. It is such small but necessary things that will show that you are real and that the quarrel was accidental.
Tip 8
She's your friend
Remember, no matter how much you quarrel, she is your friend. Even if you don’t communicate and don’t give in to each other, you can’t get over your pride, but still: don’t discuss it behind your back, don’t say anything bad about it. Don't envy her, don't reveal her secrets. Do everything as if you are communicating well. And then she will see that you are truly the best friend in the world, and you will definitely make peace.
Conclusion
Conclusion
There are legends about female friendship. But there is nothing sweeter than sitting with your beloved girlfriend in a cafe, eating cakes and chatting about nonsense. Don't waste these chances due to unnecessary quarrels.
Erofeevskaya NatalyaMale and female friendship are two different poles of communication between people of the same sex. Which one is more reliable and durable is a question that only the person himself can answer. Some people are very lucky with their friends: they are ready to listen, and cry into the pillow together, and “hang out”, and help with money; and some find it difficult to maintain relationships with ordinary acquaintances.
No matter how friendly relations develop between two girls of any age, there comes a period of disagreement, misunderstandings, quarrels. They misunderstood each other, went too far, followed their own character rather than meeting the wishes of their friend - and this is the result: no calls, no SMS messages, no manifestation of a loved one not so long ago.
The proposed ways to improve relationships will help you choose a rational and pleasant option for a quick way out of the “girlfriends” crisis with the least moral losses for both parties.
How can I make peace with my friend if it’s my fault?
While you are deciding how to return your best friend’s friendship if she was offended, think: who was more to blame for the conflict? In case of your own guilt, you should try to talk face to face and explain the reasons for your behavior, words, and the background of the conflict situation. It is quite possible that your friend’s view of what happened does not fundamentally coincide with yours. Or, it is possible that she simply does not have the information fully.
Friends in a quarrel
How to make peace with a friend if she is to blame?
Yes, this can happen too. She is to blame for your quarrel, but this does not make it any easier to find a way to make peace and forget about past grievances. As in the first case, it is important to air out grievances. Before the conversation, it is recommended to think through the main points that you want to focus on. But in no case should this be entirely claims and accusations against a friend. In this situation, you will completely quarrel. Think about why she might have offended you or said unpleasant words, remember the situation and circumstances that occurred before the quarrel. You may have provoked this behavior or missed some important event. In any case, your task is to find out and become friends again, and not to scold your friend for what she did.
The words hurt. In addition, when texting, your emotions and smiles are not visible (and emoticons cannot always express what you wanted to say). As a result, a friend may be offended by the most harmless joke in your opinion. But all the same words, which quite recently were a bone of contention, can “cure”. Usually, any quarrel can be resolved through conversation, words - so talk! Write to her, explain your position as sincerely and clearly as possible, without blaming yourself and especially your friend. If she truly values your friendship, she will definitely read and at a minimum he will react, and at a maximum he will forgive.
How to make peace with your girlfriend if she doesn't want to talk?
What to do if your friend simply does not want to talk or listen to any of your explanations? As in the case of a pen pal - write. An email, postal letter or SMS message with an apology in the case of guilt or an attempt to explain the situation and your point of view in the case of innocence can improve the current situation if you refrain from blaming and making claims. Perhaps you just misunderstood each other. The tone of the letter or message should be calm and reasonable and it is better if it leads to personal contact: let's go to the cinema, take a walk, help me with shopping, etc. Even if you usually communicate with sarcasm, “kicking” each other, in this In case this would be inappropriate, it is recommended to choose the usual friendly style of communication, without a hint of humor: perhaps your friend is not yet ready for jokes, but is internally ready for a serious conversation.
What if he doesn’t answer? Well, it's her right, and she may well take advantage of it.. In such cases, it is better not to escalate the situation by writing more and more opuses with the manifestation of friendly feelings, but to take a break. An unexpected situation can make a favorable revolution in a relationship.
Two close friends talking over a cup of tea
How to make peace with a classmate?
Another option: you quarreled with a classmate who is also your friend, and you value your friendship. It is important to resolve the quarrel, because you communicate together, study, conduct common projects; You probably have mutual friends who will feel like they’re caught between two fires. Therefore, it is so important to understand the problem: ask for forgiveness if you understand that you are largely to blame, and be the first to make contact. Even if your classmate is at fault, do not think that she is obliged to come up first. No matter how trivial it may sound, be smart, come first and try to explain the situation as you see it. Again, without explicit accusations, so as not to add fuel to the fire. Your task is to talk through your grievances and quarrels without mutual accusations and come to a common decision or compromise.
It's not always obvious what to say to a friend to make peace quickly. Here are just a few examples of what to do in specific situations. The following recommendations from famous psychologists will help, if not completely resolve the situation, then at least dot the i’s:
The cause of the conflict is a man. A difficult situation that is rarely solved successfully. You are not alone, you are loved and in love, but your friend just can’t find a boyfriend or life partner. And joint trips to the cinema, theaters, visits, trips to picnics and jogging, skiing, skating begin... Such a merger of two circles of acquaintances is fraught with consequences: now he no longer looks at his friend so wildly, and she cheered up, but why is it inside your heart Has jealousy started to appear? Inevitable quarrels with your partner and girlfriend will aggravate the situation. The solution is simple: you shouldn’t provoke such circumstances - joint parties and trips are possible, but in moderation. A friend is an adult, and there is no need to drag her around with you everywhere: the intimate space of two lovers is private, and friends (even close ones) have no place in it.
Love triangle among friends
2. Love triangle variation, where instead of the beloved man a third girlfriend appears. And now the old friend and the new one have already become friends with all their might and are ready to do without you: go shopping, go to a concert, have fun in a club. Being an outsider is unpleasant, but if you let the situation take its course, you can completely write yourself off. The solution will be your own initiative: finding interesting exhibitions, new clubs, classes, master classes and inviting your best friend to them will be a way out of a disadvantageous situation. As in the case of a man, the solution will be to separate the two acquaintances: no joint activities with the old and new girlfriend at the same time, if they do not like each other. At the same time, finding an opportunity to communicate with each of them separately will help expand your circle of friends without collapse.
3. Money and interests become the cause of envy- but what it will become, black or white, depends on specific characters, lifestyle and commonality of views.
The opportunity to spend commensurate amounts in a store at first seems unrelated to friendship, but in reality, too different standards of living can undermine friendships
Unless you or she can't catch up with each other's level financial well-being, the situation is hardly solvable: it is rare that a girl will be able to control herself and not boast to her friend (even knowing that she is limited in funds) of her new acquisitions. Quarrels due to envy, even if the reasons are understood, are unlikely to end in long-term friendly relations.
If you feel guilty about a quarrel with a touch of envy, you should think about personal growth and getting rid of the unpleasant feeling of failure. Situations of unrepaid debt by either party are fraught with damage to relationships for more than one day. Working on themselves, true friends will not overshadow the joy of friendship with black envy.
Two best friends fooling around
Conclusion
The motivation for human quarrels has not changed for centuries: money, competition, power, envy and other sins and misdeeds characteristic of society can cause even civilized people to quarrel. To restore comfortable communication, it is necessary to find out the causes of the discord and try to eliminate them in acceptable ways.
It is impossible to find the answer to the question of how not to quarrel with a friend, because we are all human, and sooner or later it will definitely happen conflict situation. Your task is to learn how to get out of it with “the least losses.” Usually it is conflicts and quarrels that help you get closer to your friend, because you begin to communicate more deeply, talk about your communication needs, grievances and omissions.
Look at friendly quarrels as working moments in a relationship with a friend: to resolve them, it is important to find a compromise - true friendship must be protected, because good friend not easy to find.
11 January 2014, 16:40Many of you have sisters, but you must admit, not every one of them is able to understand as much as a best friend. After all, she is the one who is ready to talk to you all night long on the phone and decide what to wear on the first date, she is the one who will always support your opinion in an argument, even if you are wrong, she is the one who is a huge archive of incriminating evidence collected over the years of your friendship, therefore, a quarrel with her will be a real disaster. But if the conflict nevertheless occurred, and now you are tormented by a feeling of guilt or remorse, you should not waste time - make peace with it yourself. And we, in turn, will help and tell you about the main ways to reconcile with a girlfriend.
Via VKontakte
Unfortunately, not all of us are brave enough to approach our best friend with a “white flag” real life. Calmly solving a problem and at the same time maintaining friendly relations is not so easy, especially if someone is looking at you or your offended girlfriend a large number of witnesses to a quarrel, so you can start with correspondence on a social network.
The main thing here is not to rush: sit down and think, maybe there is some great occasion (the anniversary of your friendship, her birthday, a professional holiday) to send her a funny gift on VKontakte - it will definitely break the ice. Then write a phrase that could be the first step towards a truce in a quarrel, for example: “Please forgive me, I was wrong and I don’t want our long-term friendship to end because of such a trifle.” If your friend has a difficult character and she doesn’t want to go to a meeting, try writing her the following: “Don’t be capricious, I love you.”
Well, if she has a sense of humor, you can try to make peace with the help of a playful threat: “If you continue to be offended, I will find you and...”. Just don't forget to put a smiley face at the end of the message!
When you write to your friend, try as often as possible to use the affectionate forms of her name or the nicknames that you called her during the happy times of your friendship. After all, is it possible to continue to be offended after such sweet messages as “my cow is the best, I miss you, forgive me” or “I have never been so sad, come back to your family, you mischief.” Don’t forget about your signature jokes that only you and she know, because they left wonderful memories for a lifetime. But correspondence on VKontakte is just the first step. To finally make peace with best friend
, you will need to meet her in person.
Bringing back the location with the help of poems We advise you to try to make peace with your friend and other in an original way
– by sending a beautiful sentimental poem. If you are a creative person and have the basics of rhyming, you can try to write your own work. But it would be best to find a suitable verse on the Internet and remake it in your own way. Insert your girlfriend's name into it, as well as a few epithets and metaphors with which you can characterize her.
The poem must include the words that your friendship means a lot to you, and you are ready to fight for it to the last. To enhance the effect, write the piece by hand on a piece of paper, and then send it to a friend by mail. Imagine how pleased she will be to receive such an unusual letter!
We make peace in person Of course, you can say that this is the twenty-first century - the heyday of the era of communication with people through social media
and other sites, but is it possible to compare correspondence with a real emotional conversation? Hardly. Communication via the Internet or via SMS will never become as frank and personal as a face-to-face life conversation. Therefore, strain your brains and think about where you could invite your friend to meet. Surely you have a favorite place where you often sat and gossiped, ate your favorite ice cream and met guys. If you meet her in such an environment, the atmosphere of the conversation will be relaxed (just like in the old days) - and the long-awaited truce will come much faster.
We advise you to start such an important conversation by mentioning feelings that will remind you of friendship and set a successful outcome of the conversation. As soon as you see your friend, tell her that her presence in your life has changed you a lot and made gray everyday life much more interesting and brighter. Then your interlocutor will understand that your friendship is not an empty phrase, and the upcoming conversation will begin not with screams and insults, but with nice words, which will clearly delight the heart of an offended girlfriend.
You understand perfectly well that the pride of any girl does not allow her to apologize first, even if only she is to blame for the current situation, so be wiser. As they say, “it’s better to be happy, not proud,” and this is true! Admit your fault in your disagreement, because it doesn’t matter who is right if the relationship with the main person in your life is at stake.
Of course, it is not so easy to take full responsibility for a quarrel on yourself if you are well aware that the conflict is not your fault. But try to hide your pride in a distant drawer and have a heart-to-heart talk with your friend.
Throughout the conversation, use so-called “I statements.” Say “I want,” “I’m sorry,” “I see,” “I feel,” instead of blaming your friend. In another way, setting her up in a conciliatory manner will be more problematic. At the end of the conversation, when all the i’s have been dotted, don’t rush your friend to answer. Give her time to move away from the offense and think everything over carefully. Just wait a couple of days, don’t suggest that she go somewhere else that same evening and have fun.
For your part, you did absolutely everything you could. Then the choice is hers.
How to make peace with a friend? (video)
