How I dated a married man. Real stories

Lilia (27 years old):

I turned 23 when I met Vadim. 36-year-old, charming, determined and even daring, in general a real man in my mind. In my opinion, he had only one drawback - a wife and two children. True, this didn’t bother me at all, because I didn’t demand anything in return except his feelings. Vadim seems to have loved me too, because there was a moment when he told his wife everything about our connection. I remember her calls to me, in which the woman said in a sorrowful voice that “she does not condemn me, and we all walk under God.” And her words “when you get married, you will understand everything yourself” are firmly lodged in my head.

A year later, Vadim and I broke up, Apparently my love had passed, and on his part there was no longer that passion. Two years later I got married. Gleb, it seems, loved me more life, at least I have never met such a courteous and courteous man in my life. Our wedding was simply amazing, with a dizzying romantic journey. And upon returning home, discouraging news awaited me - Gleb has a girlfriend who is five months pregnant. From now on all mine happy life went to hell. The marriage lasted literally another month. And what helped me survive all the hardships was the thought that this was retribution for my sins...

Veronica (28 years old):

I met, as it seemed to me then, my destiny at 24 years old. At that time he was already 41. I can’t even explain what connected us - I’m hot and eccentric, and he’s dry and practical, and even seems boring. Although my feelings for him were sincere, I was head over heels in love. Moreover, Alexander was a quite wealthy man and intuitively guessed my desires, buying me expensive gifts and inviting me to relax in Greece. From the first day I knew that my beloved was married, but at the same time I consoled myself with the fact that husbands do not cheat on good wives.

After a year of our whirlwind romance, Alexander seemed to have been replaced. He became rude to me and seemed to do everything to make me propose to break up. It’s difficult to convey everything that I experienced, because I sincerely believed that this man loved me. I was depressed for a month, and he simply disappeared from my life without explanation. One morning, after another night spent in tears, I seemed to see the light - that I was young, beautiful, and killing myself because of a forty-year-old man, and even more so with a family! Only then did I realize what a humiliating position I had been in all this time. My mother took me to church, I confessed and I really felt better.

The most amazing thing is that three months later Alexander knocked on my door , dressed to the nines with a bouquet of flowers, an apology and a statement that he wants a child from me! However, by this time I had already completely freed myself from this dope and my once beloved “married man” was kicked out the door without a drop of regret.

Alina (30 years old):

Today I remember my relationship with Roland with pain and longing. By the time we met, I had already been married for 10 years and we had a wonderful son. With my husband, however, there was no longer that passion in the relationship - an ordinary philistine life. Roland was also married for more than six years, although he had no children and, as he admitted, he never loved his wife.

The year we met, we were perhaps the happiest people on earth. He was a tireless lover and an amazingly pleasant conversationalist, this is exactly what I have dreamed of all my life. We dreamed of a happy future together, although all this was not destined to come true.

Everything collapsed in an instant when his wife found out about our relationship. I can imagine the situation Roland found himself in because his wife began to blackmail him by saying that she would commit suicide if he left her, she rushed at him with a knife, and in general behaved extremely aggressively. He nevertheless filed for divorce and even rented a separate apartment, but she pestered him with calls on his mobile and kept watch near the apartment. His divorce was a nightmare for me too. Roland suggested that we not meet for a while until he resolved all his troubles, but a month later he called and began to explain that it was better for us not to be together, that if everything continued, we would ruin the lives of two more people - my husband and son.

Since then, Roland and I have practically stopped communicating. And after this relationship my life seemed to end. It’s in vain that they say that time heals - everyone lies, time only dulls the pain.

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- Lord, who can you trust in our world? - Honey, trust only me... I will never leave you and will do everything for the sake of our happiness.

End of story: Cool kisses from my personal diary. I correctly dubbed D. Napoleon, moving from one battlefield to another. I got into this

From the series: real stories from the personal diary of girls. I once had a strange dream: two guys made a bet that one of them would sleep with me.

I had two of them: a wife and a mistress. The wife put her hair in a ponytail so that it would not get into the eyes, plates, or children’s faces. At home, she wore soft sweatpants and a loose T-shirt, in which it was convenient to stand at the stove, wash clothes and wipe the floors.

Only on holidays, the wife dressed in a smart blouse and skirt, put large earrings in her ears, bracelets on her wrists, took the children and went to some festivals. Without me. I didn’t like such events and got tired during the working week. Well, or maybe he wasn’t as tired as this served as an excuse for the family. After seeing them off, I still found strength and went to her, to my mistress. Yes, I cheated on my wife!

The mistress let her hair down over her shoulders. They didn't bother her and didn't bother anyone. She did not have children, nor did she have much of a household. At home she walked around in a smart open robe, and more often just in lace lingerie (when you live alone, you can easily afford this). And yet, she was never in a hurry. No one and nothing distracted her (neither family, nor children, nor old parents, nor washing or cooking) from me.

My wife was the kind of person who puts cucumbers and tomatoes in jars. One hundred cans per summer. Because without them I don’t sit down at the table. She is one of those who skillfully sculpts dumplings, dumplings with cherries, hundreds of them over the winter, because I love them; Yes, and the family needs something to feed.

With my mistress, during lunch break, we often visit some “SushiYa”. She loves all this "exotic" stuff. And I, next to her, learned to use chopsticks. Sometimes you can.

When I met my mistress and cheated on my wife for the first time, my family had already become a burden to me. My wife, it seemed to me, was worried about only one question: when will the salary come. Children always need something: either they grow out of shoes, or they dump on something again at school...

My mistress gave me gifts (all sorts of little things, but nice ones), which I hid from my wife in the tool closet. Or some cool stationery, you can always say, if something happens, that they bought it for the whole office. I also gave her gifts. She liked to choose them herself.

My wife gained a little weight after giving birth; her figure, of course, is no longer the same. I started choosing things that were less tight-fitting, and I was getting complex.
The mistress, although she did not torture herself with exercise equipment, the absence of childbirth and good nutrition allowed her to remain as slim as she was at twenty-five. It was not a shame to bring such a girl to your friends.

Friends got used to my double life. They hosted me and my mistress, but with greater pleasure, they asked to come to my family for dumplings, a fur coat, Olivier... Few of them were lucky with good housewives. And when leaving our house, they always kissed my wife’s hands and shrugged their shoulders at me in surprise (what more does a man need?).

At such moments, I was very proud of my family in front of them, my cozy, clean home and smart (my wife dragged them to all kinds of circles), beautiful (all blond, large) children and my wife (so hospitable and charming).

Time goes fast. My quality of life hasn’t changed much. Only, perhaps, the mistress became as close as the wife. Some awkwardness grew into habits. And I realized that I was already afraid of losing her. I never confessed my love to her and did not promise to leave for her (I warned her right away that I would not leave my family), but now I began to tell her about my supposed feelings, because jealousy appeared...

The thought that I could lose my wife never crossed my mind. She seemed to me to be a part of myself, my leg, arm, kidney... And she never gave me any reason to think about it.

One day, the wife found out about the existence of her mistress. I was faced with a choice. In fact, to be completely honest, I no longer had a choice. I just could still try to fight for one of them. But it was at that moment that I realized how lonely I had been all this time.

I had two of them: a wife and a mistress. A wife with whom it was comfortable and warm, like with a mother. A mistress who stroked my vanity (I’m a “anywhere” man). I cheated on both...

All these years, there was no woman next to me whom I would like to surprise every day with some incredible actions, movements of the soul. For the sake of which I would like to become even better, to achieve even more. Just to be proud and admire me.

Over all these years, not a single woman hugged me tenderly from the back, clung to the back of my head when I was feeling bad, whispered that I was the best, that everything would work out... No one felt my fear, noticed my fatigue, my restlessness ...

Who is to blame for this? Who?

I had two of them, but I didn’t have the only one - beloved and... loving.

I don't even know where to start...
I'll try to start with the most important thing.
I love a married man, without surprising you with anything new. I'm no longer a girl, but I'm far from old.
My name is Rose. I am forty one years old.
In my life, I’m used to putting everything on the line and weighing every step I take. This is how my mother raised me and my strict father told me.
I had an arranged marriage when I was twenty-seven years old. I didn't love my first husband, but I needed him. This, you know, is a very common formulation of calculating women: not to love, but to feel sorry or get comfortable.

My first husband, on the contrary, loved me and did everything that befits a breadwinner. He worked two shifts, stocked the refrigerator with food and provided for me from head to toe. God did not send us children.
Andrei died suddenly five years ago at a complex production facility...
I didn’t love my first husband, but after he left I suddenly understood what it meant to be for real beloved. This is worth living for.
For the first three years after my husband's death, I worked like a tractor to cope with personal grief as quickly as possible.
I'll tell you a very important thing!
Living next to a seemingly unloved person, brushing aside his pestering attention, you will begin to understand what you have lost only after he is no longer around.
I'll tell you more...
You will begin to love him. It’s just not possible to talk about it anymore.
I met Maxim at new job: He worked in the next department.
We practically didn’t communicate, but that’s not the point.
First of all, he was (and is) a stranger. I understood this well. But this is not the most important thing.
Maxim is very similar to Andrey in both character and appearance.
This is a prudent worker who plows tirelessly......
But his wife is the spitting image of me, who once lived behind Andrey. Only she has not yet understood what it is to live alone.
There are a lot of single men around, but I love a married man. Just like in the song.
I quit my job and moved to another, hoping that I could forget Maxim. But he still does not leave the memory.
I don’t know what to do next and ask for “help from the audience.”
I am sure that he is unhappy with his legal wife, and she, just like I once did with Andrei, does not appreciate his efforts.
But, as you know, you cannot order your heart.
On someone else's misfortune happiness can not be built. It's a vicious circle. I'm completely confused.

This is the letter I received in my email inbox. Rosa asks us for advice, not knowing how to live further. Is this love? What do you think, friends?

Here's what I think about it...

Dear Rose.
Let me this time not involve an abstruse expert, but express my own point of view on this issue.
I believe that this is not love, but an unbridled attempt to correct the past, supported by a sense of guilt.
Living in a legal marriage with Andrey, you did not appreciate his sincere feelings, accepting love as something ordinary. When your husband died, you saw the light in the field of loneliness and realized that you had not said enough and did not love the one who deserved it.
Now, having met Maxim, who is very similar to your husband who has left forever, you subconsciously strive for a family idyll, claiming that his legal wife does not value such relationships.
Think deeply about this.
And now we are waiting for “help from the audience.”

They lived together for 15 years. For 15 years of his life, he saw her every day in the morning, but only in the last year did her habits begin to irritate him wildly. Especially one of them: stretching out your arms and, while still in bed, saying: “Hello, sunshine! Today will be a wonderful day."

It seemed like an ordinary phrase, but her thin arms, her sleepy face aroused hostility in him. She got up, walked along the window and looked into the distance for a few seconds. Then she took off her nightie and went naked into the bath.

Previously, at the beginning of the marriage, he admired her body, her freedom, bordering on debauchery. And although her body was still in great shape, her naked appearance made him angry. Once he even wanted to push her in order to speed up the “awakening” process, but he gathered all his strength into a fist and only rudely said: “Hurry up, I’m already tired!”

1:4

She was in no hurry to live, she knew about his affair on the side, she even knew the girl with whom her husband had been dating for about three years. But time healed the wounds of pride and left only a sad trail of uselessness. She forgave her husband’s aggression, inattention, and desire to relive his youth. But she didn’t let it stop her from living a sedate life, understanding every minute.

This is how she decided to live from the moment she found out that she was sick. The disease eats her up month after month and will soon defeat her. The first desire of urgent need is to talk about the disease. Everyone! To reduce the mercilessness of the truth by dividing it into pieces and distributing it to relatives. But she endured the most difficult days alone with the awareness of imminent death, and on the second day she made a firm decision to remain silent about everything.

Her life was flowing away, and every day the wisdom of a person who knew how to contemplate was born in her. She found solitude in a small rural library, the journey to which took an hour and a half. And every day she climbed into the narrow corridor between the shelves signed by the old librarian “The Secrets of Life and Death” and found a book in which, it seemed, all the answers would be found....

1:4

He came to his mistress's house. Everything here was bright, warm, familiar. They had been dating for three years, and all this time he had loved her with an abnormal love. He was jealous, humiliated, humiliated and seemed unable to breathe away from her young body.

Today he came here, and a firm decision was born in him: to get a divorce. Why torture all three, he doesn’t love his wife, moreover, he hates her. And here he will live in a new, happy way. He tried to remember the feelings he once felt for his wife, but could not. It suddenly seemed to him that she had annoyed him so much from the very first day they met. He pulled out a photo of his wife from his wallet and, as a sign of his determination to get a divorce, tore it into small pieces.

They agreed to meet at a restaurant. Where six months ago they celebrated their fifteenth anniversary of marriage. She arrived first. Before the meeting, he stopped at home, where he spent a long time searching in the closet for the papers needed to file for divorce. In a somewhat nervous mood, he turned out the insides of the boxes and threw them on the floor.

1:4

In one of them lay a dark blue sealed folder. He hadn't seen her before. He squatted on the floor and in one motion tore off the duct tape. He expected to see anything there, even incriminating photographs. But instead I found numerous tests and stamps from medical institutions, extracts, and certificates. All the sheets contained the wife's surname and initials. The guess struck him like an electric shock, and a cold trickle ran down his back. Sick!

He went online, entered the name of the diagnosis into a search engine, and a terrible phrase appeared on the screen: “From 6 to 18 months.” He looked at the dates: six months had passed since the examination. He didn’t remember well what happened next. The only phrase spinning in my head: “6-18 months.”

She waited for him for forty minutes. The phone did not answer, she paid the bill and went outside. It was beautiful autumn weather, the sun was not hot, but warmed the soul. “How wonderful life is, how good it is on earth, next to the sun, the forest.”

For the first time in all the time she has known about the disease, she was filled with a feeling of self-pity. She had the strength to keep a secret, a terrible secret about her illness from her husband, parents, and friends. She tried to make their existence easier, even at the cost of her own ruined life. Moreover, from this life soon only a memory will remain.

She walked down the street and saw how people’s eyes rejoiced because everything was ahead, there would be winter, and spring would certainly follow! She won't be able to experience that feeling again. The resentment grew in her and burst out in a stream of endless tears...

He was rushing around the room. For the first time in his life, he acutely, almost physically, felt the transience of life. He remembered his young wife, at a time when they had just met and were full of hope. But he loved her then. It suddenly seemed to him that those fifteen years had never happened. And everything is ahead: happiness, youth, life...

In these last days, he surrounded her with care, was with her 24 hours a day and experienced unprecedented happiness. He was afraid that she would leave, he was ready to give his life just to save her. And if someone had reminded him that a month ago he hated his wife and dreamed of getting a divorce, he would have said: “It wasn’t me.”

He saw how hard it was for her to say goodbye to life, how she cried at night, thinking that he was sleeping. He understood that there was no worse punishment than knowing the date of his death. He saw how she fought for life, clinging to the most delusional hope.

She died two months later. He littered the road from the house to the cemetery with flowers. He cried like a child when they lowered the coffin, he became a thousand years older...

At home, under her pillow, he found a note, a wish that she wrote under New Year: “Be happy with Him until the end of your days.” They say that all wishes made on New Year's Eve come true. Apparently this is true, because in the same year he wrote: “Become free.”

1:4

Everyone got what they seemed to dream of. He laughed loudly, hysterically, and tore the piece of paper with the wish into small pieces...

As I write this story, I understand that I may cause a storm of negative emotions among girls. I met Igor 5 years ago. Of course, I liked him right away, it would be a shame not to fall in love with such a handsome man. He is 7 years older than me, wealthy, with a wonderful sense of humor. We communicated well, had long intimate conversations, saw each other every day, went to the cinema - in general, a beautiful bouquet and candy period. He avoided giving a direct answer to all questions about his family, saying that he was married and no longer lived with his wife. I sincerely believed him and did not pay attention to his strange reaction. After 4 months, my beloved admitted to me that he was married and lives with his wife, and in addition, the child is already 11 years old. At that moment I needed to turn around and leave him, but I couldn’t... I fell in love without memory and forgave everything. We dated for another three years, during which there was everything: hysterics, tears, reproaches, resentments, burning jealousy and countless evenings and holidays spent alone. Two years ago, Igor moved with his family to another country. I was left alone and, despite the fact that we no longer communicate, I still remember him. Unfortunately, it’s not possible to build new relationships.
Girls, maybe my hard-earned advice will be useful to someone! If a married man starts courting you, run away from him immediately, without looking back!

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Yes, you are describing the standard behavior of men. At first he says that he is divorced. Then he admits that he is married, but this is a formality. They have been living on their own for a long time and do not sleep together. And then he usually ends up with a pregnant wife.

Why do you regret your affair with a man, even a married one? And you had a wonderful relationship, a beautiful bouquet and candy period, love. Many women live their lives without ever knowing the true feeling of love. And you are lucky in this regard. So mentally thank your man for those happy moments in life that you experienced together and let him go. Life goes on. You will see that you will certainly have a free man in your life with whom you will connect your life. The main thing is to sincerely believe in it and not look back. When the door closes, the window certainly opens and a fresh wind blows.

You will definitely succeed. You just had to leave right away, you were like a mistress for him, he understood this very well, you were a moral and physical joy for him that didn’t bother him. Always think a couple steps ahead. You are a woman, and women should feel this.

Good advice, I also made it a rule not to date married men, at least one person suffers from these relationships - the wife, worse when there is also a child. Everything in life comes back to us and therefore there is no need to hurt others. Remember this! And living in a lie is the worst feeling.

Why did you date only one man, it was clear that he would not abandon his family. Therefore, do the same, get several men. Try to choose someone who is promising. If there is no such thing, change it to another. Having an affair is not a problem. The subsequent relationship is not very easy.

There are so many stories like this about married men, and yet every time we are women, instead of leaving at the right moment, we stay, forgive, and these relationships become torment, like a suitcase without a handle and you can’t throw it away and it’s impossible to carry it. It’s good if you learn from your mistakes, but others are unlikely to learn a lesson because every time you think, “I’m special and this won’t happen to me.”

We need to be more demanding of men and not put beauty and wealth first! You had a sense of humor, and he was joking and deceiving, it’s a pity that you forgave the treacherous lie. And he lied deliberately: if they had known that he was married, they would not have contacted him. And it’s good that he left, spit and grind!

Your story is not new and many women find themselves in similar situations. But judging by the fact that you still remember that man and are not building new relationships, then you haven’t learned a lesson from her. Now you don’t need to live in the past and think about how you were offended, but look for a free man for the future.

First, your handsome hero deceived you, and then you, together with him, deceived his wife and at the same time each other. Men, for the most part, are polygamous creatures, and arguing with nature is stupid and pointless. It will be to his honor to say that he did not abandon his family, but there was no smell of honor there. It is to your honor that you did not break up his family or failed, and that you drew the correct conclusions from your story. If a married man is courting you, run not to him, but from him. This means that everything is still ahead of you: love, family, and happiness.

As they say, history only teaches that it teaches nothing. It’s even surprising - after all, nowadays it’s easier than ever to get basic information about the statistics of any relationship. And statistics show that if a married man has been dating another woman for more than three months and has not left his wife, then he will not leave her. So, in my opinion (and the opinion of statistics), if you are dating married man, then budget for no more than three to four months, and then either leave it with peace of mind or get ready for the wedding.

As you understand, for a man family comes first. Therefore, he would not have left his wife, and everything he told you had one goal. You should forget this man and start living for yourself. At least to spite him, don’t ruin your life!

The story is tough. And it’s not even about the girl, he deceived her in the beginning! It would be better if married men immediately told the truth - they want adventures, then the girls would decide for themselves whether they want it or not. The big risk in such a story is being left with nothing, and then having to pay for your sins later. So the author, it’s good that he left! Don’t go in cycles, and look for a person who will love only you, and not 2 or 5 women at the same time. Everything will be fine!

It’s easy to judge, I admit, and I immediately wanted to say that this is what you need, since I myself was a victim. But on the other hand, you were also deceived... Therefore, you just have to accept this unpleasant experience and... live on, without losing faith that something very good will definitely happen to you.

My dear, my good girls, how easy it is to give advice with a cold heart and a sober head. Would you have the willpower to give up the man you love? I didn't have enough. Also married, also with a child... But I couldn’t breathe without him. And it’s not at all about a sense of humor or wealth, there was a sense of courage and strength in him that pulled me like a magnet (I’m sure AnnSanny had the same thing). True, there was a wedding in our history, and now we are raising two children together. And I want to give maternal advice (even though we are the same age) to everyone who reads us. I’m saving it for my daughter, God forbid that she doesn’t need it.
Even if a married man leaves his wife for you, this does not mean that this is your paradise. Hysterics, tears, jealousy, scandals do not stop, but happen perhaps even more often than they did only for other reasons. His divorce will not heal your wounds. You will have to share this man for the rest of his life with his first family. He will never be yours completely. Ask yourself, are you ready for this? His first wife and child will always be in his thoughts. It hurts, but you are powerless. We still need to learn to live with this.

The Internet is replete with such stories, but in life there are many times more of them, because not everyone will dare to tell about it publicly. And there will probably never be fewer of them. While we women believe, wait and love. Author, good advice, but most likely you said it to yourself more than once... only your legs didn’t run. Anna, what happened is what happened, time and you shouldn’t regret the past. Only forward! You will certainly find your unmarried happiness! good luck to you!

Your story is quite banal and, oddly enough, very common in modern society. I admit, I myself managed to get myself into a similar swamp, and somewhat longer than five years. Without the help of psychologists (albeit only via the Internet, I couldn’t decide to row in person) it would not have been possible to row. I re-read a lot of live stories and forums, I was horrified by how similar they all are to each other... It's really scary. And when women try to end these hopeless novels, men are very much against it, which is why it all drags on for a very long time. I will say that you are really lucky that he left. Forget it like a bad dream, consider that you were just sick, and now there is a new free and wonderful life ahead.

This is how it always turns out, this is our problem, we do not notice simple ordinary guys who are ready to do anything for the sake of our love, but we are carried away by someone forbidden like you. I, too, got burned several times, I see that he’s a fool and even married, but I can’t help myself - I’m drawn to him like a magnet.

If a married man is looking for a relationship on the side, then this is a weak man. If you take your soul mate as your wife, then in theory you no longer need anyone, and she should suit you in everything. I was lucky with my soul mate, I met her and I don’t need anyone else, and we have a wonderful daughter.