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Отдых от УМА / Смешной английский 

Смешной английский


Если вы хотите чем-нибудь занять или развлечь гостей, оживить вечеринку, внести интеллектуально-веселящий момент в традиционный процесс "выпить - поесть", то попробуйте использовать эти небольшие рассказики на простом, но абсолютно правильном британском английском. Как? Например, так... Читаете рассказ, но заключительную выделенную фразу не произносите вслух, а предлагаете каждому слушателю придумать и записать свой вариант. Потом зачитываете результаты взлета творческой мысли. Вполне вероятно, что кто-то из гостей окажется более оригинальным, чем классический английский юмор.   

Story No.1

Sam left school last June. ‘You don’t like work very much, Sam,’ his friend Paul said. 'What are you going to do now?'

'I’m going to study music,’ Sam answered. I’m going to go to a music college’.

Sam went to the music college, but he did not study much. He played games and went to dances and enjoyed everything. But he never had much money.

Then he had some holidays. He went home and saw his friend Paul again. Paul said, ‘How are you getting on, Sam?’

‘Quite well,’ was Sam’s answer, ‘but my father isn’t very nice. I wrote to him and asked him for £500 for a new violin, but he didn’t send me the money. He sent me a violin.' 


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Полиглот. Выучим английский за 16 часов.

Story No.2

Jean and Mark were twins. They were ten years old and they were in the same class at their school. A few weeks ago, their English teacher said to the children, ‘I haven’t given you any homework for two weeks, children. Now this week, write a composition about “Our cat”, and give it to me next Monday. Have you all got a cat at home?’

‘Yes, Miss Jones,’ all of them answered.

All the pupils did the composition, and they gave it to the teacher on Monday. The teacher read all the compositions and then she gave them back to the pupils on Tuesday.

‘Jean’, she said, ‘your composition is the same as your brother’s.’

‘Yes,’ answered Jean quickly. ‘It’s the same cat!’ 


Не все понимаете?
Полиглот. Выучим английский за 16 часов. 

Story No.3

Many years ago, Wonder Air was a small, very new company. It had very little money and its aeroplanes were very old. Mr. Black flew by Wonder Air once. That day, he went to the airport, got on the Wonder Air aeroplane and waited.

After a few minutes, there was a lot of noise, and then the captain came out and shouted, ‘I’m not going to take this aeroplane up! One of the engines is broken and they aren’t going to get a new one.’

The passengers got out, and then, an hour later, an air-hostess said, ‘The aeroplane’s ready again now.’ The passengers walked past her to the aeroplane again.

‘Did you get a new engine?’ Mr. Black asked the air-hostess.

No, we get a new captain,’ she answered.  

Story No.4

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